My Anaconda Can’t

In the last few weeks, I have watched copious amounts of romance movies. Why I would subject myself to that kind of torture is beyond my own understanding, but it has made me aware of something about my own relationship status: it doesn’t exist. 

My mom pulled me aside, once (awkwardly, of course) and said something along the lines of “I know you’re searching for a partner, but don’t try.” Semantics of the term partner and my complete dislike for the word in the vernacular aside, I can’t help but feel compelled to scream at the sound of “don’t try;” which is synonymous for “wait.” I am a fairly patient person (probably more than I should be), but waiting for something like this is not something I want to do.

In the last few weeks, I have felt like the whole dating world is completely against me. I mean, seriously:

  • I’m personably
  • I’m generous
  • I literally drop anything to be with someone, even at the cost of sleep
  • I can swoon you with music that I make with my mouth (and piano … and guitar)
  • I am up-to-date on most current trends
  • I cook incredibly well
  • I’m a wonderful bunch of hugs and smooches when intoxicated (and can dance like Nicki Minaj)
  • I like coffee and tea

This list could seriously go on and on about how wonderful of a person I am, but it hasn’t accounted for some strong friends or even a “hey, would you like to grab coffee (brunch, dinner, etc.).

This appears to be a very upset post and, post writing, I figure it reflects my state of mind perfectly. For lack of better words, I’m lost and not sure where to turn. Perhaps things will get better. Likely won’t, but I’ll wait … patiently, listening to my queens on my iPhone.


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