A friend is a friend until when

Last night, I got to celebrate my twenty-sixth birthday with some really exceptional and not-so exceptional people. Let’s start with the exceptional.

I started off my day-off with brunch with a really great friend of mine who, in the past year or so, has truly become one of my best friends. It was a really great time and even got a free mimosa out of the deal — which was both unexpected and amazing.

Then, towards the evening, my parents drove down from my hometown to take me to see Sister Act at the Chanhassan Dinner Theatre. The last time that I was at this theatre I was somewhere around 3-years-old and completely unawares of theatre and culture. The night started off with salad and a delicious vegetarian rotini. Then, multiple cups of coffee later, the show began. It was hilarious and a great way to spend the majority of my birthday.

After this moment is when things started to crash and burn. A friend of mine was wanting to go out and we both were planning on going to this gay club in the northeast. When I got home, he mentioned that he was at this other place (only for a hot moment) and would then head out to the club. I took an Uber — the driver was fantastic — and quickly realized the hot moment turned into an hour. And, when we were ready to leave, I could tell that he (and his presumed current fling) would only be at the bar for a second and leave.

I left to my home-base bar. Thursday nights, in the past, have been busy for this place but, upon arrival, only a handful of people were in the bar. Luckily the nicest part of the evening was talking to the bartender and a few of the bouncers.

I think what really threw me off was how my friend treated me on my birthday. To have me drive all the way to the one bar, knowing all too well they wouldn’t actually go out, was a complete waste of my time. I chose to spend precious time with this person but it become clear it was either not wanted or not appreciated.


I honestly believe that my rose-colored glasses have been thrown off and I am just sick of the bullshit of adolescence. This other guy is not much younger than I am, yet he acts more like an 18-year-old than most 18-year-olds. This isn’t my life, and he is free to act as he wills. But I am tired of trying to include him (or anyone) that falls short of my own life expectations. I want to be part of a crowd that celebrates education, free-thinking and queerness only for the sake of queerness rather than just “yass kweening” with glitter and heels for showcase only.

I want to be part of a group that isn’t drinking for the sake of drunkenness but rather out of community; part of a group that celebrates time together and refrain from iPhone temptation (e.g., nothing pisses me off more than conversations backlit by a blue glow). At 26, as much as I’m protesting adulthood, I am embracing what it is to be a mature, millennial adult. I just wish others would do the same.



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