An Ending and New Beginning

Usually used as a metaphor for a passing, this post will carry a similar setup of starting with an ending before describing a new beginning.

For those who read my last post, I was talking about a new relationship I was going into. The month of December was filled with all the best parts about a relationship — happiness, hugs, embracing after a cold day, cute dinners and Christmas concerts. I’ve had a lot of time to reflect on the reason it didn’t work and, coincidentally, I uncovered something I’ve never seen in myself; a repetition of the words: I do matter.

I recognize that we each try to find validation in others — but this relationship taught me more about how I validate myself and that I should always come first when it comes to being happy. True, I wasn’t the one who broke the relationship up, but I was the one who reaffirmed the separation (won’t go too deep into those details).

Through this relationship, I learned something, too. He liked me for who I was and didn’t see my weight as an issue. Yet I did. I always saw it as an issue. I always have. And to that point, I get to talking about the new beginning.

We’ve been here before

If you’ve been following this blog, you know that I’ve talked about “working out,” “becoming a better me,” and so forth. Every one of those times was driven by some type of motivation — a drive that wanted me to do something about it. But, in all honesty, it was backed up by nothing more than a goal that was easily compromised by my day-to-day habits.

The root cause to each failed attempted has been fairly universal: lack of energy or desire. I’ve come to realize that I haven’t really fixed the one thing that needed fixing: my diet (or lack thereof). While I will try to increase (and maintain) some iteration of my workout routine, the meal is quite frankly the most important element in this new beginning.

As of right now, I am lucky to get a solid two meals into my day, and rarely do I reach about the 1,000 g. calorie intake, let alone make my macros. Can you see the problem yet? I realize that I am not giving my body the essential elements it needs to be successful — no protein, no substance so that, when I do workout, I have energy (good energy) to burn.

Beginning March 1 — I make this change. I want to see how far I can go, what heights I can reach, in three months. Come June 1, where I can I be that I wasn’t today? Because I want to be more transparent with this journey, I will not be posting to this blog until then. To follow my journey, follow me on Instagram at:

See you on the other side.


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