Learned Expectations

I alluded to in my previous post that I was going to be going on a date – I did. It was a really nice afternoon spent at the local art museum, taking a look at everything from early civilization to the late 1800s – truly inspiring. If you are as voracious with reading between the lines as I suspect you are, then you will notice I’m not talking about the guy. 

This guy was a very nice guy, but I didn’t feel the same spark that he felt for me. You might be saying to yourself: “But, dude, this was your first time meeting this guy …” We had been chatting online for a few weeks, talked on the phone and even sent random video chats to each other … adorable, really. But as soon as I met him, I didn’t feel the same connect I had over the air.

Typically this is the part of the conversation where I proclaim (to some degree) that I will be alone forever, and my friends will say that I’m too picky. But I really want to thank this guy for helping me learn something – online dating is not for me. This is the part where heralds of gay people will tell me “then you will die alone,” but I think that I’m better off looking for friends, just friends.

You see, I am judgemental; I am picky, and when I go on these little dates, I compare and contrast the person in front of me to the person I created in my head (which likely are different). I want to meet someone spontaneously or at least unexpectedly. I want to hang out, build a friendship which develops into something much more.

When reflecting on my old flings, this is exactly what happened. With my first boyfriend, the relationship was not expected (literally … at all … I wasn’t even close to his level). It started with a set up from my sister to meeting one-on-one to him coming all the way from the cities to spend New Years Eve with me … seriously how romantic is that.

While I am desperate for a relationship (seriously … any guy want to be friends for like two days and then start something if I deem you acceptable … kidding, kidding … kind of), I know that I need to meet this person the right way. While it might take a while and I might have to find some other hobbies while I wait, I know I will be happier in the end.

Thanks for reading. I realize no one probably reads this thing but it is a great digital bouncing board that I am happy to upkeep. As always, I would love to hear your thoughts. Comment below and like if you want.